FitMama, I know you are like me, in that you want to feel strong, confident, gorgeous, sexy, happy, free. I wake up every morning with that intention for the day and go to bed at night with this in mind.
Our Core Connection Challenge is a regular part of what we talk about in our FitMama Facebook Group where we FitMamas hang out. We do this challenge often in the group as a reminder that this is needed by us daily. Attention. Quiet. Breathing. Connecting to ourselves. Quieting the noise inside us and around us all the time.
The goal of this challenge is to have you connect deeper into your inner core, the muscles that hold up your organs and allow you to do the exercises, workouts and activities in life that you do.
Pelvic Organ Prolapse (POP), Diastasis Recti (DR) and SI joint injuries are very real and will very much negatively affect your life if they aren’t tended to.
These are dysfunctions of the pelvic floor and deep inner core and require attention.
Go see a pelvic health physiotherapist who specializes in the function of the deep core and pelvic floor specifically.
I hurt myself badly pushing too hard to fit into a mom/fitness ideal that didn’t suit me. It didn’t suit me because I just had a baby. In other words, I pushed a human out of my vagina. My vagina is connected to my pelvic floor which is one of my deep inner core muscles.
Organs can fall out through the pelvic floor to create a POP and it isn’t something you want. Your linea alba thins on your rectus abdominis to make space for your baby and this causes a DR. This needs time to heal and almost all women postpartum have some degree of DR after they have a baby.
I hurt my back using an SI joint belt that worked against me due to relaxin, the hormones in my blood stream postpartum. I pinched a nerve and rotated my pelvis and this coupled with the weakness in my core postpartum, I really hurt myself. This gave me almost 3 years of consistent chronic sciatic pain and immobility. Additionally, I had to give up a job I loved as a part time personal trainer while I had my young girls 1 and 3 at home.
Let me tell you from first hand experience. This was horrible.
I was miserable.
I felt like crying every day and every night.
The pain didn’t stop. Neither did my responsibilities. I had a 18month old that I breastfed and lifted in and out of her crib. I had an active 3 year old that I wanted to experience her mom active with her.
I was raging inside and didn’t know how to fix myself so I got sad.
Anyway, long story short…
Connecting to my core, breathing deeply, healing my fear and pain one breath at a time by facing them head on – is what ultimately allowed me to heal.
What are you not facing?
What will connecting deeper to your core through breathing do for you?
Watch this video to breathe with me.
Please join the conversation, I want to hear from you.
Is your mind coming up with reasons why it isn’t what you need?
“I will start in September when things ‘settle down.’”
“I want to have fun, not be deprived.”
“I already know what to do, I just have to do it.”
“I feel scared to share how out of balance things have gotten”
“What if I can’t change?”
“I have been ‘trying’ it’s not my fault.”
“I can’t exercise, so nothing will work anyway.”
“What if it doesn’t work? Why even bother?”
These are all LIES!! Your mind loves to tell you stories that feel believable.
I want to share with you why I KNOW it’s exactly what you need if you are still struggling with:
- Weight loss
- Negative self-talk
- Poor follow through
- Willpower struggles
- Feeling defeated
- Feeling lost and hopeless
- Cycling “on” and “off” the wagon
- Lack of motivation
- Thinking nothing will ever change so there is no point in trying (aka learned helplessness)
You deserve better! You deserve to talk yourself up every day and have your own back.
Are you ready for a treat?
We start when you’re ready.
Get on the phone with me, tell me what’s up and get registered.
Just DO IT!
With love and oodles of respect,
Are you finding yourself stuck and bored with food? Maybe you have become a prisoner of the plan.
Often we can feel guilty or have regret and shame over eating things that weren’t on the plan, and truthfully, the negative feelings will leave us feeling way worse than the food ever would have.
Watch the video for more on that and also do these:
- TUNE IN: Choose your food wisely – by listening to your body.
- TUNE OUT: The old rules. Sometimes foods you thought were “good” were actually causing your problems.
- TUNE IN: Prepare for your self sabotage or old habit patterns by becoming aware of them (write them down).
- TUNE OUT: Forget the excuses or the “should, could, have to” talk and get deeper into WHY you want to eat healthier (or start a new lifestyle habit).
Find us talking more about this and other related topics in our Facebook Community.
See you there,
I am so grateful to introduce to you the Pearl Pull Ups as the new exercise to engage your deep inner core.
Listen to me talk you through it now:
At FitMama we are all about tuning inwards and restoring your core postpartum.
These Pearl Pull-Ups can be done 3-4 times daily for 15-20 reps. Posture is key. Sitting or lying down is a good way to start and then progressing to standing and moving.
Remembering the cousin to the Pearl Pull-Ups is Core Breathing which I recommend daily also. While pregnant and immediately postpartum.
By practicing the Pearl Pull-Ups, you will reinforce the mind-body connection to your core and will be building, with each step and move, a stronger foundation for your whole body.
Tighten your midsection, improve your posture, stop leaking pee and best of all, feel good! Have good sex!
If you haven’t gone yet, please go see a pelvic floor physiotherapist who can check you internally for health of your deep core.
Please join us in the FitMama Facebook Community to join the conversations.
Being a FitMama all starts with Love,
Love your Core.
See you online FitMama,
Once you have that integrity piece and you implement it, you gain confidence. You can take people’s opinions or leave them based on what you are working towards.
When you have integrity and you idealize, you can really commit. You can go all in. You can commit to doing the work that you need to do to work towards the outcome that you want. You are realistic that it may end differently than you plan, but you commit to doing what you need to do to get where you want to be.
When you idealize and implement this allows you to give up the outcome while maintaining the commitment to do whatever you can to create what you want. This is you controlling the controllable and letting go of what you cannot control.
This is about setting the bar higher, while at the same time being open minded. Not being disillusioned or completely delusional about how things could turn out, but being open minded and setting the bar for yourself higher. letting go of those voices that are telling you that you aren’t good enough, that you’re not worthy. Whatever it is you are feeling this negativity around changes when you begin to maximize your expectations. Right there in the centre where all these things come together is the sweet spot of FLOURISHING as a Fitmama, right where you are today. Allowing you to set up those things that you need to set up to keep you aligned with that goal.
Three things I am going to leave you with to help you maximize your expectations of yourself.
1.) Daydream! – Yep! This is your homework. If you did this as a youngster, you were told to smarten up I bet. Have a purpose to daydream and imagine all that could be because all that could be, can be if you want it to be. Allow yourself to start dreaming big. Get back to that place that you were in as a kid with the curiosity and wonderment. Open your mind to the possibilities that could be. Do some work around this, take some time and implement this. Sit down with your journal and take the time to daydream.
2.) Choose who to ask the right questions to – Who’s validation are you seeking? Who are you asking these questions to? It’s very important the questions we ask, not only to others, but of ourselves. A lot of the time I think to myself “I am not even going to ask this question to this person because I know what they are going to tell me.” Maybe. Maybe not. Consider before you ask, what are you looking for from this person? Are you seeking validation? Is this person someone you want to seek validation from? Consider this when you ask even simple questions. Simple but powerful questions to ask yourself when you are taking big actions or big risks.
3.) Aim high and COMMIT! – and then don’t compare yourself to anyone else. If I compared myself to everyone else who told me a story about birth that was traumatic and painful and long I may not have been open to the possibility that I could have a quick and almost pain free birth. No two things can be exactly the same, and if we want to emulate someone, if we look just at the surface it might not be telling us everything we need to know.
Get out there and DO IT! Start to maximize your expectations for yourself. This helps you not only in that innerness and enjoying yourself piece of being a fitmama, it also can spread out to all other areas of your life.
Today I am talking about maximizing your expectations. Dreaming big. Expecting that if anyone can do it, it can be you. This begins with the idea of an open mind. Imagine what could be if anything were possible, because it truly is possible for you, obviously within reason of physics and the laws of the world. Generally though, anything is possible for you.
This idea of maximizing your expectations really begins with opening your mind. I always talk about this concept of having a growth mindset. There is research out there by Carol Dweck, who talks about a fixed mindset vs a growth mindset. The differences are stark in the way that these two mindsets perform in the world. The ones that are fixed are very fixed and they (people) don’t see things changing a lot from where they are at, and they don’t really move forward much in terms of their goals and dreams. Whereas those with a growth mindset are open to growth and possibility. They are open to imagination, knowing that things are not always what they seem to be and they realize things are not static, but forever and constantly changing.
The research is brilliant and this idea of a growth mindset in all areas of our lives serves as a good one. Are you open to having a growth mindset in relation to these things? When it comes to doing homework with your kids, are you saying “Oh, I always sucked at math.” or are you saying “This is grade two math, I’ve got this.” Maximizing your expectations of yourself, knowing that if you read it through, you will figure it out. Expecting the maximum from yourself.
This comes from three things.
1.) Integrity – Very vital. Doing what you say you will do. A lot time we have these great ideas and then we don’t follow through. The follow through is really key, because that allows you reinforce the idea that you can do it.
2.) Idealize – but be realistic. Idealize what my dream scenario for this situation could be. When you have the integrity piece, so that you are being realistic, and you really look deeply into a situation to see what’s truly possible with a sense of curiosity and wonderment. For me, an example was when I was having kids. When I was pregnant, I found people loved to be negative about it, and tell me that for them, it sucked, it was uncomfortable, they recommended I make sure I have drugs available etc., etc. I was really grateful for their input, but I felt the need to connect to my curiosity, wonderment and idealizing, how could it be for me? Could I really write a different story than the one everyone was telling me? Could it really be a more positive experience? Could my mindset affect the pain and discomfort in a more adaptive way? What would that be like realistically?
3.) Implementation – Integrity is whether or not you are going to do it and being real about it. Do you have the skills or could I learn them? Being idealistic by asking what could happen, and then implementing those ideas. Repeating over and over the things that are going to get you there. For me, when I was pregnant and I wanted a pain free, calm birth, I was just really open to the possibility of this. Visualizing it in my mind as if it already happened. It wasn’t just hoping though. I did the work though, everyday. I did affirmations, and tapping which is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) where you tap on the energy meridians in your body to help you realign some of your thought patterns that need clearing/changing. I talked positively about things to others and remained unphased if they wanted to lament about their experience. I didn’t let it penetrate my belief that their experience in no way affected mine. I learned all I could and hired a doula who could help me in the moments I wasn’t going to be thinking clearly for myself. I trusted my intuition and visualized what I wanted the experience to be like. Implementation is about repeating the work, even when all odds are against you and doing it over and over to create the outcome that you desire.
Have you wanted to changed things or outcomes in your life and found these to be important aspects? What do you find helps you face tough situations with a growth mindset?
See you online FitMama!!
This is one of the foundations of FitMama: Seeing it in your mind first. Dreaming big. Expecting that if anyone can do it, it can be you. This begins with the idea of an open mind.
Imagine what could be if anything were possible, because it truly is possible for you, obviously within reason of physics and the laws of the world.
This idea of maximizing your expectations really begins with opening your mind to possibility. I always talk about this concept of having a growth mindset. There is research out there by the famous Carol Dweck who talks about a fixed mindset vs a growth mindset. The differences are stark in the way that these two mindsets perform in the world. The ones that are fixed are very fixed and they don’t see things changing a lot from where they are at, and they don’t really move forward much in terms of their goals and dreams. Whereas the ones with the growth mindset are open to growth and possibility. They are open to imagination, knowing that things are not always what they seem to be. And often their dreams exceed even their expectations.
The research is brilliant and it’s all around this idea of a growth mindset in all areas of our lives. Are you open to having a growth mindset in relation to these things? When it comes to swimming or playing basketball with your kids, are you saying “Oh, I always sucked at basketball.” or are you saying “This is play time with my kid, I’ve got this.” Maximizing your expectations of yourself, knowing that if you read it through or just try it, you will figure it out. Expecting the maximum from yourself.
Want to maximize your expectations for yourself and your life?
This comes from three things:
1.) Integrity – Most important! Doing what you say you will do. Believing in it. Following through from a deeply inspired place. A lot of the time we have these great ideas and then we disrespect or sabotage ourselves and don’t follow through on the work it takes to get there. The follow through is really the key part, because that allows you reinforce the idea that you can do it and the habit or new thought sticks.
2.) Idealize – but be realistic. Idealize what your dream scenario for this situation could be. When you have the integrity part covered and you are being realistic, you can look deeply into a situation to see what’s truly possible with a sense of curiosity and wonderment. For me, an example was when I wanted to have kids. When I was pregnant, random people loved to be negative, warning me about the labour and delivery experience, that it sucked, it was uncomfortable, so painful, so so long, make sure I have drugs, etc. Immediately I reminded myself that that was their experience, it didn’t have to mean it would be mine. I chose to connect to my curiosity and daydreaming and idealizing, how could it be for me? Could I really write a different story than the one everyone was telling me? Is it possible that mine could be quick and less painful than theirs was?
3.) Implement – Integrity is whether or not you are going to do it and being real about it. Do you have the skills or could you learn them? Being idealistic by asking what could happen, and then implementing those ideas. Repeating over and over the things that are going to get you there. For me, when I was pregnant and I wanted a pain free, calm birth, I was just really open to the possibility of this. I did the work though, everyday. I did affirmations, and EFT (tapping which is Emotional Freedom Technique) where you tap on the energy meridians in your body to help you realign some thought patterns that need clearing/reframing. Implementation is repeating the work, doing it over and over to create the outcome that you desire long term.
When these three things are applied to any new situation you want to come to be, start by dreaming big and then backing it up with daily action!
Join us in the FitMama Facebook Group for daily support!
When you maximize your expectations and you manage your obligations this flows into SELF RESPECT. We start to respect ourselves more. If we can lay the foundations of our life based on self respect, we are bound to follow through on what we really want. The external work becomes a follow through on our intentions.
When you have your obligations managed and you are maintaining your intentions, you come from this place of SELF CARE. Self respect and self care makes you willing to say no to an invitation because you have things you have already committed to, that being yourself.
When you can maximize your expectations and maintain those intentions you access SELF LOVE. This is a really sweet spot, and it’s waiting for you to come there. It’s a choice. Will you choose maximizing your expectations, managing your obligations, and maintaining intentions? If you can you access this centre point of FLOURISHING in every part of your life.
It’s like floating on the ocean on a raft with no GPS, you don’t know where you are, you don’t know where you’re going and the raft is feeling flimsy. Yes, you’re going to the gym everyday, but do you know why? Is it coming from a place where you are truly self respecting? Are you truly coming from a place of self love and self care? It doesn’t always look the way it seems. From the outside you can think that person has it all together, but we don’t truly know. It’s about you. If you are really grounded in your why, you have that GPS, you have goals and a direction for where you are really wanting to go. Then asking for support will help!
There are three things that I am going to leave you with to help you enjoy your journey through life as a mom, to help you innercise before you exercise. The best time to start this is in those first six weeks postpartum. Of course you are still adjusting to having a new baby, but this is the time that you will feel antsy and want to get back to your life. These will help you know that maybe now is not the time to do that. This is a time for innercise.
1.) 21 Days to love your body e book and audios – I recommend this to all FitMamas and all my private FitMama clients. This is a FitMama Program where you do the work every single day and it gives you real, practical action items to follow along to make you feel like you are creating amazing routines that are going to last a lifetime.
2.) Schedule it in – Creating a plan for yourself. Even when it feels all kinds of crazy with a new baby or kids at home, it’s important to have a schedule. Pencil in your self care like you do for a doctor’s appointment. It’s not going to be laid in stone but it’s about making a plan so you know where you are headed. Pencil in whatever lights you up so you are clear on what you want to do, so you can move forward towards your goals.
3.)Decide what you want and why you are doing what you are doing – This is the anchor. So that life raft that you are on won’t float out to sea. That tether will always keep you connected to ground. Getting grounded in your why allows you to keep really grounded and anchored to where you are and where you’re going.
Let us know how it is going for you! Please share below or on our FitMama Facebook Group.
See you online!!!
I am sure you were told by your doctor or midwife after you had a baby that you “should rest.”
How did that go for you? REALLY, how did it go? Did you take that advice seriously? I know initially I didn’t. Truthfully, I didn’t know how.
I didn’t really realize at the time how important it was. I just wanted to get on with things.
But let me tell you…it IS very important! We are so used to doing things as women, wives and moms, and taking care of everything that we can easily forget – we are human beings, not human doings, we don’t need to always be do do doing!
I am here to remind you why exactly it’s so important.
Why is it so important to rest after we have a baby? And I don’t mean just take a couple of days off. I mean like really really rest. Like enter a resting phase that lasts 2-4 months. Yes! it’s possible. It’s wise and yes, you can do it.
Trust me, I understand, we are so excited after we have a baby! Yeah, maybe we are tired and up all night, but we also are often so fired up. We think about all the things we want to do with our bodies that we haven’t been able to do for a while because we had a baby inside. We want to get back in action. I totally get it.
That being said, there is a time and a place for being active and there is a time and a place for rest. The key time for rest is in that first 8 – 10 weeks after you have your baby. That is a very vital time when your body is naturally healing. There is a lot of stuff going on hormonally, physiologically, neurologically, emotionally, spiritually, physically and more. Everything is changing, moving, adapting. It’s really important for us to take the time for our bodies to heal and rehabilitate naturally. That’s where rest comes in. It’s absolutely vital.
Sometimes we don’t want to, but it’s a key to The FitMama Way.
This time is needed for rehabilitation and restoration of the deep inner core, as well as for the healing of the very common diastasis recti (thinning of linea alba and separation of your abs) which needs this time of rest (lessened intra-abdominal pressure postpartum) so it can naturally come back together and heal up. Getting back into those “ab workouts” will do exactly the opposite of what you want when healing your core from pregnancy and birth.
There are many things we can to accelerate the healing process, but most of the time we do things that decelerate the healing process. We take steps back in our healing because we want to do so much, entertain, nurture others. We think we need and want to do it all, and we feel energized.
We need take this energy use it to heal up. Every time you stand up: downward pressure is placed on the pelvic floor. Each time you climb the stairs, it splits the pelvic floor, causing those muscles to have to contract and work in a way they may not be yet ready for, due to the natural changes that went on with pregnancy and traumas of childbirth.
I am always encouraging FitMamas to “Stay flat for five.” Stay on one level for five days. Take the escalator down at the hospital. Only climbing stairs once a day at maximum. Go downstairs for the day if you must, or stay in bed all day.
I really want you to think of it as a three step process. A lot of us don’t know how to rest. We have to learn these tools. It doesn’t always come naturally.
You may think, oh it’s not a big deal, I’m not going to the gym. This is not what I am talking about though. You are going up and down stairs, getting people drinks, cooking people food, taking care of your baby and other kids, doing laundry or standing and doing dishes…these things are not considered rest!
No!!! Those are activities of daily living that yes, we must do. But in the first 5-10 days postpartum, it is a time for those you love to step up and allow your pelvic floor to heal – so that you can once again get back to doing all the things you love in life. Those who love you will understand!
- The first step to rest is ACCEPTANCE – accept the situation at hand. Does it mean that you are going to be resting forever? Unfortunately no 🙂 Does it mean that you’ll never get back to the things you want to do? No! It just means that this is time that you are accepting a new normal for you. Your body is never the same after you have a baby. Once you are postpartum you are always postpartum. And there are a lot of things you can do in terms of retraining and rehabbing that will make you stronger than ever before. It’s about understanding that at this point, the first 8 – 10 weeks ACCEPTANCE of your situation as your current phase is part of the game plan.
- The second step is ASKING. Once we have accepted that this is your new normal for now, the second step is asking for help. I know right?! It’s difficult for us. We want to be able to do everything ourselves. We want to go out and put on our super hero capes and make sure everything is perfect, and take care of everyone else along the way. There is no perfection. If you are striving for perfection, especially with a newborn, it’s going to come back at you in a very negative way. Thinking about “what can I not do myself that I can ask for help with?” People want to help you. They really do. Ask them.
- Step 3 is ALLOW. Allowing that time, that first 8-10 weeks or that first 6-12 months and realizing that these are key periods of time where our body is naturally rehabbing and restoring but it’s never going to be able to do so fully unless you allow it to. Allowing that time for you to adjust and your family to adjust, and your body to adjust is vital and it requires rest.
Don’t worry FitMama, there will be plenty of time to be running all over the place again!
Who do you know that is pregnant and could benefit from this information? Please share now!
Did you take the time to rest after you had a baby? Was it or is it hard for you to rest?
Comment below and join the conversation in the FitMama Facebook Support Group!
See you online,
I am often asked by others these three questions: 1. How I can get so much done in a day? 2. How I have so much energy? and 3. What’s my secret to getting up early?
My answer to the first two is waking up before my kids get up! Which sounds like a great idea, until the reality of it feels like the worst in history when you hear your alarm go off in the morning.
Now, I know us FitMamas are often awake multiple times in the night with newborns, babies or have kids who are on a sleep strike, not to mention we have times when our kids are sick or we have lots going on or whatever reason that makes waking up early difficult. That being said, those are here and there or just for phases and stages of our lives, they are not the norm, so keep this in mind and know it is not forever (thankfully)!
Waking up early has been one of the most significant contributors to my being able to fit in exercise, make time for mediation, create a morning routine that works for me and it allows me to start my day in a proactive way rather than reactive.
We all know what if feels like to race around from morning to night, so taking some moments of calm early in the morning can be life changing.
Check out my short video about the TOP 3 Ways you can start to cultivate an earlier start to your day and this will help you wake up and get after it.
Let us know below how it goes for you and how waking up early has changed things for you!
See you in the Facebook Group!