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Hush The Rush

Do you know how many days there are until the end of the year?

As of the writing of this blog there are less than 75 days until the New Year.  Holy Crap Right?!

I am willing to bet that you detected a tiny bit (HUGE AMOUNT) of panic upon reading this.  So much still to do and time to do it is shortening.

We spend so much of our time rushing, feeling stressed and like we have so much to do and no time. Not a pleasant place to be right? The question is, how can we not when we obviously have a ton to do and time is always ticking.

I am going to share with you my top three tips to Hush The Rush so that you can inhabit your busy life with calm.

1.) Daily Practice

2.) Listening to your body

3.) Finding joy through daily gratitude.

Check out this video where I break these down 🙂

See you online in our FitMama Facebook Community!!!

xo Jen

You Can Say No, You Know?

Today we are talking about the idea of managing our obligations. This is a tough one for us as women, as mothers, as sisters and as friends. We have this desire as women to help others, to do things for others. Not only help them, but doing it for them. It’s very natural for us to be this way. I know myself, I love helping people, and I do things too often without thinking things over first.

So, the truth is, way too many of us feel guilty.

The stats are out.

Mom’s feel guilty.

We feel guilty because there is no way we can to it all, but there is no way we can. We want to help that person, do this thing and support that all at the same time. We want that! It’s totally normal, but the fact is that it is not realistic and it’s not going to help you flourish as a Fitmama. It’s just not. Saying yes to everyone and doing everything for everyone else is not going to get you to where you want to be.

It’s true. I don’t even have to know you or what you want to be able to say that. It’s the truth. You cannot have too many obligations going out. We must must must manage these obligations. So, I always say to Fitmamas “You know you can say no right?”. I know, it’s a tough one. It takes practice.

The comment that I hear most is that you are overwhelmed, so busy, have too much to do. That’s what this is about. It’s about managing all these things that we think we have to do.

Obligations are made up of three things; your needs, your wants and your responsibilities. We have all of them. We have our own needs and wants and our responsibilities to those around us. For us to start managing these things we need to start thinking about what our wants really are, and what our responsibilities really. And that takes really looking inside. I believe that writing really helps us get stuff out of our head. All the time we think “I know what I need to do, I know what I’m thinking and I know what I really want.”

Not until we write things down do we get a really good sense of it. This doesn’t really require us to have any good writing skills or to be great at poetry or anything. The key thing is just getting it out, and to start having the conversation with yourself about what you really want. When it comes to managing our obligations, we have so many things going on that we need to really take an inventory of what’s really going on and to see what’s really going on that we don’t want to be doing so we can get in alignment with what we really want. Until we write those down we often don’t know what they are, we can’t articulate them to ourselves or to anyone else.

When it comes to the needs, wants and responsibilities, when we start to look deeply at them, what comes clear is this idea of assigning someone else to help you out. This is a BIG ONE. We are always going to be talking about enlisting others into our lives. When we are stressed or overwhelmed it’s often because we have too much going on, and so we need to start assigning things to others.

Let’s assign small tasks to other people, like the lunches you have to make for your kids, like the cupcakes that you have to make for that party you are going to. When you get to responsibilities and your wants, these things you start to have to ask for help to be able to maintain these things. When you have responsibilities that you know need to be done and you have wants that you know you want to get done, it’s about asking for help. Let’s get someone in here to help me to make sure that all of this goes down. The word that I want you to think of is assess. When it comes to responsibilities we are asking for help and we are assessing. This goes back to the innerness piece. Why? Why is it that we want to do the things we want to do? What is that about? This is where we start to assess and from there we get in to that beautiful place where we are able to flourish. We assign other people tasks because we realize we don’t need to do everything ourselves. At this point we are really consistently asking “is this what I want?” If it’s not we can reassess, go back to the drawing board. This is not some static thing to get to and then you’re there. It’s an evolution. It’s a way of life. Something that works today, may not work another day, and so everyday needs to be a new day. It’s about the intentions in behind it.

You know that you can say no, right?

We have to start exercising that.

You are the leader of your family, perhaps in business or in your community as well. It’s important that you come to the place where you know being busy is good, but it’s YOU that has to say no to that additional thing, going to that birthday party that you are being asked to commit to. Taking that step back, realizing that you are the leader in the family and you can make those decisions to set those boundaries.   You can choose to make decisions that more reflect what you really want.

So, the three things I am going to leave you with to help you manage those obligations, those things that you are obligated towards (or are you?)

1.) Practice saying no – It’s such a big thing. The next time that someone asks you for something, pause, really assess the situation and ask yourself “am I going to say yes? Am I going to assign it to someone else? Or am I going to say no?” Even for the big things, I am always practising this, pausing and assessing whether or not it’s going to work. I used to work the other way, saying yes to everything and then not really being able to live the way I truly wanted to live. Other people will take you away if you don’t own your own time and manage your obligations.

2.) Clarify your boundaries – This is another writing assignment. Take out your journal and ask yourself “What ARE my boundaries?” Maybe this means not going out with the girls on a school night when you need to get up with your kids in the morning. Maybe this means only doing one sport for your kids on the weekend. Managing obligations allows you to be open to what your boundaries are and the ability to say no.   It takes some practice.

3.) Let go of using the word guilt – this is important, to let go of the idea of using the word and feeling the feeling for not doing something that you feel you ought to have done. There are very real risks to taking on too much. Illness, pain, cancer and other problems that people can’t cope with on their own, they need to seek professional help.

When we say that we will do stuff for ourself later, it overrides our natural needs and send us into this place where we are only helping others and not fuelling our own tank. This leaves you very susceptible to go down the path of illness, and not taking care of yourself. Let’s nip that in the bud by really being proactive and managing our obligations.

You can say no, you know?

YOU CAN SAY NO.

Go out there and practice it.

Power Up Your Intentions!

Once you have that integrity piece and you implement it, you gain confidence. You can take people’s opinions or leave them based on what you are working towards.

When you have integrity and you idealize, you can really commit. You can go all in. You can commit to doing the work that you need to do to work towards the outcome that you want. You are realistic that it may end differently than you plan, but you commit to doing what you need to do to get where you want to be.

When you idealize and implement this allows you to give up the outcome while maintaining the commitment to do whatever you can to create what you want. This is you controlling the controllable and letting go of what you cannot control.

how to deal with expectations

This is about setting the bar higher, while at the same time being open minded. Not being disillusioned or completely delusional about how things could turn out, but being open minded and setting the bar for yourself higher. letting go of those voices that are telling you that you aren’t good enough, that you’re not worthy. Whatever it is you are feeling this negativity around changes when you begin to maximize your expectations. Right there in the centre where all these things come together is the sweet spot of FLOURISHING as a Fitmama, right where you are today. Allowing you to set up those things that you need to set up to keep you aligned with that goal.

Three things I am going to leave you with to help you maximize your expectations of yourself.

1.) Daydream! – Yep! This is your homework. If you did this as a youngster, you were told to smarten up I bet. Have a purpose to daydream and imagine all that could be because all that could be, can be if you want it to be. Allow yourself to start dreaming big. Get back to that place that you were in as a kid with the curiosity and wonderment. Open your mind to the possibilities that could be. Do some work around this, take some time and implement this. Sit down with your journal and take the time to daydream.

2.) Choose who to ask the right questions to – Who’s validation are you seeking? Who are you asking these questions to? It’s very important the questions we ask, not only to others, but of ourselves. A lot of the time I think to myself “I am not even going to ask this question to this person because I know what they are going to tell me.” Maybe. Maybe not. Consider before you ask, what are you looking for from this person? Are you seeking validation? Is this person someone you want to seek validation from? Consider this when you ask even simple questions. Simple but powerful questions to ask yourself when you are taking big actions or big risks.

3.) Aim high and COMMIT! – and then don’t compare yourself to anyone else. If I compared myself to everyone else who told me a story about birth that was traumatic and painful and long I may not have been open to the possibility that I could have a quick and almost pain free birth. No two things can be exactly the same, and if we want to emulate someone, if we look just at the surface it might not be telling us everything we need to know.

Get out there and DO IT! Start to maximize your expectations for yourself. This helps you not only in that innerness and enjoying yourself piece of being a fitmama, it also can spread out to all other areas of your life.

Flourish FitMama!

Once you have that integrity piece and you implement it, you gain confidence. You can take people’s opinions or leave them based on what you are working towards.

When you have integrity and you idealize, you can really commit. You can go all in. You can commit to doing the work that you need to do to work towards the outcome that you want. You are realistic that it may end differently than you plan, but you commit to doing what you need to do to get where you want to be.

When you idealize and implement this allows you to give up the outcome while maintaining the commitment to do whatever you can to create what you want. This is you controlling the controllable and letting go of what you cannot control.

This is about setting the bar higher, while at the same time being open minded. Not being disillusioned or completely delusional about how things could turn out, but being open minded and setting the bar for yourself higher. letting go of those voices that are telling you that you aren’t good enough, that you’re not worthy. Whatever it is you are feeling this negativity around changes when you begin to maximize your expectations. Right there in the centre where all these things come together is the sweet spot of FLOURISHING as a Fitmama, right where you are today. Allowing you to set up those things that you need to set up to keep you aligned with that goal.

Three things I am going to leave you with to help you maximize your expectations of yourself.

1.) Daydream! – Yep! This is your homework. If you did this as a youngster, you were told to smarten up I bet. Have a purpose to daydream and imagine all that could be because all that could be, can be if you want it to be. Allow yourself to start dreaming big. Get back to that place that you were in as a kid with the curiosity and wonderment. Open your mind to the possibilities that could be. Do some work around this, take some time and implement this. Sit down with your journal and take the time to daydream.

2.) Choose who to ask the right questions to – Who’s validation are you seeking? Who are you asking these questions to? It’s very important the questions we ask, not only to others, but of ourselves. A lot of the time I think to myself “I am not even going to ask this question to this person because I know what they are going to tell me.” Maybe. Maybe not. Consider before you ask, what are you looking for from this person? Are you seeking validation? Is this person someone you want to seek validation from? Consider this when you ask even simple questions. Simple but powerful questions to ask yourself when you are taking big actions or big risks.

3.) Aim high and COMMIT! – and then don’t compare yourself to anyone else. If I compared myself to everyone else who told me a story about birth that was traumatic and painful and long I may not have been open to the possibility that I could have a quick and almost pain free birth. No two things can be exactly the same, and if we want to emulate someone, if we look just at the surface it might not be telling us everything we need to know.

Get out there and DO IT! Start to maximize your expectations for yourself. This helps you not only in that innerness and enjoying yourself piece of being a fitmama, it also can spread out to all other areas of your life.

Dare to Dream Big

Today I am talking about maximizing your expectations. Dreaming big. Expecting that if anyone can do it, it can be you. This begins with the idea of an open mind. Imagine what could be if anything were possible, because it truly is possible for you, obviously within reason of physics and the laws of the world. Generally though, anything is possible for you.

This idea of maximizing your expectations really begins with opening your mind. I always talk about this concept of having a growth mindset. There is research out there by Carol Dweck, who talks about a fixed mindset vs a growth mindset. The differences are stark in the way that these two mindsets perform in the world. The ones that are fixed are very fixed and they (people) don’t see things changing a lot from where they are at, and they don’t really move forward much in terms of their goals and dreams. Whereas those with a growth mindset are open to growth and possibility. They are open to imagination, knowing that things are not always what they seem to be and they realize things are not static, but forever and constantly changing.

The research is brilliant and this idea of a growth mindset in all areas of our lives serves as a good one. Are you open to having a growth mindset in relation to these things? When it comes to doing homework with your kids, are you saying “Oh, I always sucked at math.” or are you saying “This is grade two math, I’ve got this.” Maximizing your expectations of yourself, knowing that if you read it through, you will figure it out. Expecting the maximum from yourself.

This comes from three things.

1.) Integrity – Very vital. Doing what you say you will do. A lot time we have these great ideas and then we don’t follow through. The follow through is really key, because that allows you reinforce the idea that you can do it.

2.) Idealize – but be realistic. Idealize what my dream scenario for this situation could be. When you have the integrity piece, so that you are being realistic, and you really look deeply into a situation to see what’s truly possible with a sense of curiosity and wonderment. For me, an example was when I was having kids. When I was pregnant, I found people loved to be negative about it, and tell me that for them, it sucked, it was uncomfortable, they recommended I make sure I have drugs available etc., etc. I was really grateful for their input, but I felt the need to connect to my curiosity, wonderment and idealizing, how could it be for me? Could I really write a different story than the one everyone was telling me? Could it really be a more positive experience? Could my mindset affect the pain and discomfort in a more adaptive way? What would that be like realistically?

3.) Implementation – Integrity is whether or not you are going to do it and being real about it. Do you have the skills or could I learn them? Being idealistic by asking what could happen, and then implementing those ideas. Repeating over and over the things that are going to get you there. For me, when I was pregnant and I wanted a pain free, calm birth, I was just really open to the possibility of this. Visualizing it in my mind as if it already happened. It wasn’t just hoping though. I did the work though, everyday. I did affirmations, and tapping which is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) where you tap on the energy meridians in your body to help you realign some of your thought patterns that need clearing/changing. I talked positively about things to others and remained unphased if they wanted to lament about their experience. I didn’t let it penetrate my belief that their experience in no way affected mine. I learned all I could and hired a doula who could help me in the moments I wasn’t going to be thinking clearly for myself. I trusted my intuition and visualized what I wanted the experience to be like. Implementation is about repeating the work, even when all odds are against you and doing it over and over to create the outcome that you desire.

Have you wanted to changed things or outcomes in your life and found these to be important aspects? What do you find helps you face tough situations with a growth mindset?

See you online FitMama!!

Hugs,

Love Jen

Believe it to see it!

This is one of the foundations of FitMama: Seeing it in your mind first. Dreaming big. Expecting that if anyone can do it, it can be you. This begins with the idea of an open mind.

Imagine what could be if anything were possible, because it truly is possible for you, obviously within reason of physics and the laws of the world.

This idea of maximizing your expectations really begins with opening your mind to possibility. I always talk about this concept of having a growth mindset. There is research out there by the famous Carol Dweck who talks about a fixed mindset vs a growth mindset. The differences are stark in the way that these two mindsets perform in the world. The ones that are fixed are very fixed and they don’t see things changing a lot from where they are at, and they don’t really move forward much in terms of their goals and dreams. Whereas the ones with the growth mindset are open to growth and possibility. They are open to imagination, knowing that things are not always what they seem to be. And often their dreams exceed even their expectations.

The research is brilliant and it’s all around this idea of a growth mindset in all areas of our lives. Are you open to having a growth mindset in relation to these things? When it comes to swimming or playing basketball with your kids, are you saying “Oh, I always sucked at basketball.” or are you saying “This is play time with my kid, I’ve got this.” Maximizing your expectations of yourself, knowing that if you read it through or just try it, you will figure it out. Expecting the maximum from yourself.

Want to maximize your expectations for yourself and your life?

This comes from three things:

1.) Integrity – Most important! Doing what you say you will do. Believing in it. Following through from a deeply inspired place. A lot of the time we have these great ideas and then we disrespect or sabotage ourselves and don’t follow through on the work it takes to get there. The follow through is really the key part, because that allows you reinforce the idea that you can do it and the habit or new thought sticks.

2.) Idealize – but be realistic. Idealize what your dream scenario for this situation could be. When you have the integrity part covered and you are being realistic, you can look deeply into a situation to see what’s truly possible with a sense of curiosity and wonderment. For me, an example was when I wanted to have kids. When I was pregnant, random people loved to be negative, warning me about the labour and delivery experience, that it sucked, it was uncomfortable, so painful, so so long, make sure I have drugs, etc. Immediately I reminded myself that that was their experience, it didn’t have to mean it would be mine. I chose to connect to my curiosity and daydreaming and idealizing, how could it be for me? Could I really write a different story than the one everyone was telling me? Is it possible that mine could be quick and less painful than theirs was?

3.) Implement – Integrity is whether or not you are going to do it and being real about it. Do you have the skills or could you learn them? Being idealistic by asking what could happen, and then implementing those ideas. Repeating over and over the things that are going to get you there. For me, when I was pregnant and I wanted a pain free, calm birth, I was just really open to the possibility of this. I did the work though, everyday. I did affirmations, and EFT (tapping which is Emotional Freedom Technique) where you tap on the energy meridians in your body to help you realign some thought patterns that need clearing/reframing. Implementation is repeating the work, doing it over and over to create the outcome that you desire long term.

When these three things are applied to any new situation you want to come to be, start by dreaming big and then backing it up with daily action!

Join us in the FitMama Facebook Group for daily support!

Know and Love Thyself

When you maximize your expectations and you manage your obligations this flows into SELF RESPECT. We start to respect ourselves more. If we can lay the foundations of our life based on self respect, we are bound to follow through on what we really want. The external work becomes a follow through on our intentions.

When you have your obligations managed and you are maintaining your intentions, you come from this place of SELF CARE. Self respect and self care makes you willing to say no to an invitation because you have things you have already committed to, that being yourself.

When you can maximize your expectations and maintain those intentions you access SELF LOVE. This is a really sweet spot, and it’s waiting for you to come there. It’s a choice. Will you choose maximizing your expectations, managing your obligations, and maintaining intentions? If you can you access this centre point of FLOURISHING in every part of your life.

how to enjoy your life

It’s like floating on the ocean on a raft with no GPS, you don’t know where you are, you don’t know where you’re going and the raft is feeling flimsy. Yes, you’re going to the gym everyday, but do you know why? Is it coming from a place where you are truly self respecting? Are you truly coming from a place of self love and self care? It doesn’t always look the way it seems. From the outside you can think that person has it all together, but we don’t truly know. It’s about you. If you are really grounded in your why, you have that GPS, you have goals and a direction for where you are really wanting to go. Then asking for support will help!

There are three things that I am going to leave you with to help you enjoy your journey through life as a mom, to help you innercise before you exercise. The best time to start this is in those first six weeks postpartum. Of course you are still adjusting to having a new baby, but this is the time that you will feel antsy and want to get back to your life. These will help you know that maybe now is not the time to do that. This is a time for innercise.

1.) 21 Days to love your body e book and audios – I recommend this to all FitMamas and all my private FitMama clients. This is a FitMama Program where you do the work every single day and it gives you real, practical action items to follow along to make you feel like you are creating amazing routines that are going to last a lifetime.

2.) Schedule it in – Creating a plan for yourself. Even when it feels all kinds of crazy with a new baby or kids at home, it’s important to have a schedule. Pencil in your self care like you do for a doctor’s appointment. It’s not going to be laid in stone but it’s about making a plan so you know where you are headed. Pencil in whatever lights you up so you are clear on what you want to do, so you can move forward towards your goals.

3.)Decide what you want and why you are doing what you are doing – This is the anchor. So that life raft that you are on won’t float out to sea. That tether will always keep you connected to ground. Getting grounded in your why allows you to keep really grounded and anchored to where you are and where you’re going.

Let us know how it is going for you! Please share below or on our FitMama Facebook Group.

See you online!!!

Enjoying Your Journey

Enjoying the journey is a unique experience for everyone. I work with lots of women who want lasting change to happen overnight (it can but it might look different than you thought) and so to help you understand how I help my clients, I create models around this stuff because it’s so important to visualize what this really looks like.

What does it really look like to enjoy the journey as a FitMama? I’m going to go through that with you because it’s really about wrapping your head around understanding what it really means.

These days it’s as easy as typing into Google to find an exercise program you can do. At FitMama though, we start with Innercise before Exercise. That’s the inner work, the inner stuff that forms the foundation of your strong physical body. The mind-body connection, the internal stuff that needs to go on before you can get into that groove and just get on with it. When we have a baby we think we are just going to get on with it. Six weeks are going to pass and our doctor’s going to say go for it and we will go along as if nothing changed.

That’s not exactly how it happens and I am here to tell you the truth of that.

I am here to tell you that because it is about enjoying the journey and each of the little phases that you go through in your journey of life do, in fact, matter.

Each of those phases you go through postpartum when you have just had your baby are important for healing and rehabilitation and those little phases need you to be present, excited, happy and joyful understanding that this is just a phase. The inner work needs to get done before the outer work can happen. The same goes with working your deep inner core as we always talk about. Then the external can get stronger and function properly around that core foundation.

And then the outer work will be a better reflection of who you are (and how strong you are) when you do the inner work first. The external stuff of exercising and eating healthy are very important. I talk about those things in terms of vitality, long term health, mental health, longevity and more. They are all very important BUT the key thing is how you approach them. It’s how you approach the day to day stuff that you are going through as a wife, mother, business owner, employee, sister, daughter, friend and all these roles that we play as women. If we don’t do that inner work and make sure that it’s working with us rather than against us, we can notice that the outside becomes a reflection of the inside. When you lay that groundwork, that foundation of you as a person, then all those other things just fall into place. It happens naturally.

Know that exercise is important and will be a part of your life if that’s what you choose, but the innercise, that’s the good stuff. Regardless of your circumstances, inner work keeps you grounded. It’s about the internal environment of ourselves that we can control. We can’t always control others or what is going on around us. What we can control is our reactions to them. We can’t always control the stressors, but we can completely control how they affect us.

The key thing here is about enjoying your journey as a Fitmama, and that starts with the inner work. Exercise is everywhere. It’s about the inner work, doing that so you can lay the foundations of yourself down strong and grounded with that inner peace.

This is what I want for you, to enjoy your life now. Not at some future point when the kids grow up or when you lose 20 pounds, but now.

One of the things I wanted to direct you to is the science behind this. I love to talk about literature and research, not just my own opinions. You know I have them! For me, its about the opinions that I share with you that are grounded in research, that really go back to understanding how we work as humans.

One guy I really love to follow online is Simon Sinek. He’s known well for a TED talk he did all about your WHY. He claims that we know what we do, we know how we do it, for the most part, but we don’t always know WHY we do it. He encourages you to really explore this idea behind your WHY. I really like that. This serves as a solid anchor point or strong foundation that will keep you going when times feel tough.

When it comes to really enjoying this experience as a mom there are three vital points that I want to share with you.

1.) Expectations – It’s about maximizing your expectations yourself. It’s not about following in someone else’s footsteps or doing what someone else always told you you were good at. It’s about your expectations of yourself and maximizing those. Truly believing in yourself and knowing that you an have anything you want. It’s about having these expectations that you maximize and knowing that if anyone can do it, you can do it. That’s a personal choice. If you are pregnant, you can do this by practising affirmations everyday like “I am strong, I know I can handle what is coming my way” and saying it over and over, even if you don’t totally believe yet. You can say it to yourself until you believe it.

2.) Managing Your Obligations – As moms we have all these obligations to others and ourselves everyday that we need to attend to. Whether it’s to our kids or our boss, or house keeping or maintenance or financial expectations or whatever it is. We feel the need to DO all the time. This is about managing those obligations so that you feel in control. These things can become a slippery slope unless you are doing the inner work where you are managing these obligations so you are clear on what you want. So you can be clear on why you do all the things you do and not take care of yourself. There is so much research in the area of the WHY where you can get grounded. When you get clear on this you can get grounded, not be a people pleaser and set up those boundaries, and limitations so that you can still nurture yourself.

3.) Intentions – We all have intentions as it why we are doing things. We probably had intentions when we embarked on motherhood as to why we are having a family. We set intentions prior to doing things. We always have an opportunity to stop, pause and set an intention about how we want things to go, so we aren’t living in this place of reactivity because that can end up being a very stressful situation. If we are proactive and thinking about our intentions, we can maintain those things. If the idea we thought was good continues to be good, we can maintain it. If it turns out it wasn’t so much, we can evolve it. Intentions may shift over time, but when we can maintain motivation and inspiration we will feel like doing the things we said we will do. This helps with that integrity where you can maintain those obligations over time.

So we have our expectations, our obligations and our intentions. Those are three areas we really want to focus on.

What that allows us to do is harmonize these things in a way that makes them work for our life, at this time, in this specific phase of our lives. Not forever. Things that work today may not even work tomorrow but we want to be present and proactive rather than reactive where everyone else’s low expectations of us, or our own for that matter, drives where we are going.

This is when we forget about our intentions and things get crazy.

That ends up being that place of break down. We don’t want that to happen to you. We want you to build on a stronger foundation and FLOURISH. This allows you to truly live, enjoying live and shining your light.

When we get stressed out and overwhelmed that light starts to dim and we get into our reactive place.

More on this topic on our next blog!

See you online FitMama!

Love Jen

Power Up Your Rehab!

Continuing on from our last blog on Rehab I want to break down how those three important R’s help you attain true deep core rehab.

What is rehab

 

Retrain + reframe = persistence on our own journey. This is your journey, no one else’s. You are working to retrain your own core, reframe things for yourself and this will allow you to persist over the long term.

Retrain + regain = pursue different things. When you were so caught up in bootcamp before pregnancy, maybe you never even thought about pilates or yoga. Before baby you loved running, did you ever consider walking?

Reframe + regain = patience. You can have patience with your journey. When you have reframed your mindset, you can be patient with the pace of your recovery. You know that you are doing the right thing and if you stick to it you will fully recover. You know you are in it for the long game. We are clear that we want to still be able to play when we are 80 with our grandkids.

At the bottom of all of that is REHABILITATION, the centre of it all; YOU. Your health, your well being, your longevity. These aren’t things you want to neglect and ignore for 25 years until your kids leave home and you finally realize, “WHAT WAS I THINKING?”

I was a trainer for years and I trained people even 65 and older who are still suffering from back pain and incontinence like we do postpartum, years and years later after 2 or 3 bladder suspension surgeries that didn’t work. If you can take the time now to really internalize no pain, all gain, it’s going to pay dividends for you for years to come.

There’s so much you can do, and it’s fun. It’s about taking care of YOU, in a safe manner.

The top 3 recommendations I make to all Fitmamas;

1.Go see a pelvic floor physiotherapist. This is a specialized physio for the pelvic floor muscle group who is fully educated in pre and postpartum pelvic health. They will do an internal exam and will recommend some internal work for you to get those muscles working properly again. This is a hidden gem for you. When you discover it, and see this person who can help you and tell you what’s really going on down there, they will give you so much power back. They will explain everything. Trust me, they will be like your new best friend. Looking one up in your area is as simple as hitting up google. If you do have a hard time, please contact us at FitMama and we will help connect you with one. We can’t check your pelvic floor for you, but we will happily connect you with local resources.

2. Look into Belly Binding. If you are less than 8-10 weeks postpartum. Understand what it is, and how to do it correctly. It CAN BE DONE INCORRECTLY and this causes pain, discomfort and serious issues. Find out how to do it so it heals, but does not injure. We have recommendations at FitMama and on our YouTube Channel on how to do this properly with a simple tensor bandage. There are definitely more high tech versions (like this one we LOVE) and they are great, it just depends on what you want to spend. Belly binding can be great for you, it’s simply vital that you understand how to do it correctly. It can be super helpful during the first 8-10 weeks postpartum, after that it declines in effectiveness. ***If you are beyond 8-10 weeks pp, then begin by starting daily Core Breathing immediately.

3. Core Rehab! This involves many different things. The first thing we talk about is Core Breathing, this is breathing in the natural way that your deep inner core most effectively functions that changes when you’re pregnant.

All the retraining, reframing and regaining, it’s all leading you to find a rehab program or protocol that works for you.

You can combine lots of different programs and routines that you can find online. We have our own here at FitMama and you can find out more about that by joining the group or contacting us personally to find out what is best for you depending on the stage that you are at now.

Have you rehabbed? Share below or online in our FitMama Facebook Group. 

Hugs,

Love Jen

No Pain, All Gain

I talk to tons of FitMamas everyday and the one thing I find to be the most popular among the new mom crowd is the desire to “get back their body” really, really fast.

This concept needs some serious rethinking in my opinion.

Your body is fully intact, and unbelievably miraculous for going through and doing the things that it’s done, yes? What you want to think about instead is “How can I restore this system that is my body to a more optimal place?”

Today I am going to explain a bit more about what rehab is and why we need to do it.

Why do we need to rehab? First of all because you just had a baby. Imagine the size of your babies head. That came out of your vagina, through your pelvic floor, which is a muscle group of the deep inner core. Damage was done. Even if you had a c-section, you are not exempt from pelvic floor dysfunction and issues that can lie within the deep inner core

Issues like incontinence. Back pain. Prolapse. Painful sex.

It is one of the most common issues that postpartum women have with the deep inner core though and it can be helped. Incontinence is any time you pee that you don’t want to, whether it be laughing, sneezing, jumping, running, it doesn’t matter. There are also different types of incontinence which we won’t go into, but the key thing is that you don’t want it.

Back pain is another major symptom of pregnancy and postpartum. It is most times a symptom of a weak or dysfunctional deep inner core.

Prolapse is a situation where one of your organs actually falls through your pelvic floor. It’s very uncomfortable, sometimes painful and can feel like a little bit or a lot of a heaviness down there. It’s really common, especially in women who return to vigorous exercise too soon after having a baby, and don’t have the right muscle tone, or connection from the brain to the core to appropriately help in that situation.

My biggest recommendation when you are postpartum and you feel the need to sneeze or cough, sit down. That chair will help you in actually supporting your pelvic floor.

Statistics say that these are the top three most common side effects of the postpartum period.  They need to be focused upon though so that they don’t stay for the duration of your life. Even if you don’t have these symptoms right now, they can creep up on your later in life too.

The rehabbing process is super vital.

When it comes to rehab, there are three things for you to consider so that you can create the most effective rehab routine for you.

  1. Retrain – How am I going to retrain the muscles of the deep inner core to work properly? The fact is that our brain connection to our deep inner core changes it’s functional patterns when we are pregnant. During this time there is tons of pressure inside, the baby needs more and more space as it grows. The way that your pelvic floor usually anticipates movement doesn’t work in the same fashion when pregnant. Postpartum those systems continue to work like it has a baby inside because it’s been doing that for the past 10 months. This is why we need to retrain this system and it’s connections so that it returns to working properly.

    A test you can do is put your hand on your lower belly and cough while you’re sitting down. Is your lower belly going in or going out when you cough? A properly functioning core moves in when you cough. This will allow you to know if you muscles have been retrained.

  2. Reframe – While retraining, we have to reframe our mindset. What does it mean to workout? What does it mean to do ab workouts? We have to have a clear understanding of these terms that are in really common use, but we really don’t fully understand what they mean for the most part. People often ask me after they have a baby, “When am I going to get back to my ab workouts?” What do you mean exactly by that? What are your goals? If it’s to have a flatter belly, fit into your clothes, have better sex then “ab workouts” might not be the best route to those goals. So reframe your mindset, your idea of what it means to workout in general, and what it means to workout at this time. This journey that you are taking as a new mom is amazing and beautiful and when you can start to reframe what your expectations are in a way that empowers you, you will be feeling great. I currently have an injury in my back and it causes me a lot of pain and it’s changed how I do things. I really had to go through an intense reframing process of what it means to workout, what does it mean for me to move my body or exercise? This is an evolving question. What does it mean for you? With my back injury I could still go to the gym, do my breathing, rehab and walk everyday, but I wasn’t doing all the things that I used to love doing like bootcamps and marathons because that’s wasn’t where I was at. When you get into this reframing, it really allows you to change the perspective with which you approach things.
  3. Regain – Regain that strength. When you have a baby inside you, even if you workout the whole time, there are things that change. Your body goes through a process. You had a labour and delivery that got that baby out, so now it’s time to regain strength in the areas that are most important to you at this time. It’s all about phases, and we don’t suggest the same things for all the postpartum phases. You are not going to be doing the same things at 6 weeks postpartum as you would be at 1 year postpartum or 5 years, or 25 years. It’s about realizing that there are times and places and when you can regain strength by reframing and retraining, it starts to get to this place of true rehabilitation.

When we think about our core, the part that had all of this stuff happen to it during pregnancy, as the foundation of our house, maybe going back to bootcamp or stroller fit right after having a baby might not be the right time. They are not really ideal to do immediately postpartum. This is a really key time for rehabilitation. Retraining, reframing and regaining are the three vital aspects of the rehab process.

Remember, no pain ALL GAIN. None of things that you are doing for rehab should cause you pain, or bleeding, or any side effects whatsoever other than feeling good, more empowered, fantastic.

Let us know how we can help you on your FitMama journey!

See you online!

Hugs,

Love Jen

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Free Report: Belly Flab to Flat Belly? 10 Things You Can Do Today To Get a More Toned Belly After Pregnancy